Seasons Change

Today as I was getting my hair colored (My first greys came in while I was still in college) and my hair dresser and I were sharing stories, it hit me how often we ignore, or are influenced to ignore, the seasons or cycles in our life. 

It was early in the morning and it was just the two of us in the shop. What began as a conversation about a recent trip he had taken for a seminar on growing your business turned into a conversation about change.  He talked about being burnt out with running the salon, and managing people.  Oh , and trying to balance his wants and needs and care for and cherish two small children at the same time.  But he didn't share all of this immediately.  I kept inquiring as to what he had gained from the seminar and what ideas was he hoping to implement and did he want a bigger space or a larger clientele.  I was not trying to be pushy or even nosy but in retrospect perhaps I was both.  I was actually thinking, "I really Like Mr. X (X for his privacy) and I wonder what he plans to do and if I could encourage or help him grow his business in any way". What he finally told me was that he did not want to grow the business and that he was actually thinking of "just cutting hair" and not renewing his lease this year. 

Some people may think that is a step back for him, but I believe it is a step up. He is choosing to concentrate on other areas of his life right now and the title of Salon Owner does not fit into the equation, nor does it have to. He is finished with this season. 

My season change should have been could have been 4 years ago and it should have been could have been in a different form, but the reality is that it came at the end of November in the form of a resignation from my job.  It is shameful to admit it but I had become a stranger to myself  and I no longer knew the person staring back at me from the other side of the mirror.  She was not bad or good for that matter, but there was a metallic taste to her that I did not like.  I had missed my season and what is ignored does not necessarily go away.  It just waits. Patiently. In a closet.  Metaphorically speaking and literally.  Trust me I have cleaned out quite a few of both in the past 2 1/2 months.

In this new season I am recreating myself into what I want to be and also rediscovering parts of myself that I had forgotten all about. The biggest impact for me though has been walking and writing in my journal. In my late teens and throughout my twenties I wrote notes to myself in my journal reminding myself of  what I wanted in life.  The problem was that at some point I stopped writing and stopped reading the notes.  Even if you create your own handbook you still need to refer to it at times. I must keep writing and I must keep asking the questions; Am I learning new things-creating-growing-laughing and playing-spending time with those I love?  No matter what joy and sorrows may come, may the answers be YES.

Today I walked out of the salon door with swingy happy hair and a smile.  Smiling that someone else is stepping onto their own path and following their season and thankful that I am experiencing my own new season right now.  I like to think of it as an early Spring.