This One Wild and Precious Life

 

I finally got around to adding one of my most favorite lines of poetry (from Mary Oliver's The Summer Day) to canvas and know that this will be one of many works I add for inspiration in my home.  I love poetry and quotes and special strings of words that arouse my spirit and find that all too often I keep them hidden in the pages of my journal where there are not reflected upon as often as I would like.  Now I can take my favorite ones and rotate them and even give them away as they feel called to be with someone else that needs them.

This morning after a long walk with Miss Butters I sat down with a cup of heavily creamed but still quite strong coffee and Susannah Conways workbook,UNRAVELLING THE YEAR AHEAD 2013 (which also spends time reflecting upon the current year).  Please check out this link for yourself and make time for this wonderful exercise...I promise you will find all kinds of secrets within your soul just waiting to be written upon the page:   http://www.susannahconway.com/2012/12/2013-workbook/

I needed this reflection after the past 3 weeks of packing and moving and travelling back and forth between homes.  A new family has moved into our old home and I have fingers crossed that in the new year this will be their new home, full of their new dreams.  It is another chapter in my life, and a huge one in my married life, that is now over.  Alan built the home for us right after we were married and we had many dreams of the life that would be lived there, some of which came to be and some that are still to be realized and written. 

Writing about the year and gently reflecting upon it helped me to seek closure and celebration for this beautiful and messy life. This afternoon feels lighter somehow and there is the taste of possibility and a vision of a new path forming in my mind for our future.  I dream of a bungalow near the sea with an herb garden and a vegetable garden in lieu of a lawn.  There is an idea of community involvement and community gardens and paintings hung in cafes. There are renewed dreams of a child and morning walks and evening lullaby's.  There is a sense of hope that I will find the truest sense of love and belonging within myself and there is a vision of a book being written on the same table shared with paints and bobbles of other creations. 

I wish you the warmest of holidays snuggled up with your favorite loves and the bright possibility of an abundantly wild and precious New Year.  xoxo

A Poem from May

 

 

Drift Seeds

　

At a stoplight entering downtown

on a late afternoon in May

I spot downy drift seeds floating from the sky.

　

At this intersection

old majestic trees give way

to stone, steel, and brick.

　

I do not know the origin of these fluffy orbs of life

or even what they will grow to be.

I only know they cause me to pause and wonder.

　

Do the other passengers and drivers and walkers

see with the same eyes and heart?

Will the stoplight camera on the corner

capture this unfolding of life?

　

All around, so much that we take for granted.

Life continues to open and close as a breath,

indifferent to the pavement or time or passerby.

Days Thirteen And Fourteen: Favorite Things-Painting and Poetry

A Few of My Paintings and Books of Poetry

Even though I disappeared for a few days and this is technically day 17, I wanted to finish this series with two more of my favorite things, Poetry and Painting.  By the way, day 13 was spent  perusing aisle after aisle of books on fiction, poetry, geography, field guides, crafts, and cooking at a local used book store.  My neck hurt a little after over two hours of craning it to the left and right to read all of the book spines.  I left empty handed but with a head full of ideas and headed to a craft store to pick up a few tubes of paint and a new canvas.  On my way to the check out (after fighting the "I want's" for new journals and more paint I didn't need but wanted) I spotted two books on painting and stopped to check these out.  I had heard of both of these books (Brave Intuitive Painting by Flora S. Bowley and Daring Adventures in Paint by Mati Rose McDonough) and have been eager to check them out.  After flipping through both books, I decided I would get Flora Bowley's book since I had taken an online painting class with Mati already but was new to Flora's work. I had a 20% coupon that made the purchase even more attractive and decided this would be my birthday gift to myself.  Day 14 (my birthday) was spent enjoying the gift of time with my family over a shared meal at my mother and dad's house.  We had lasagna, a huge fresh salad and chocolate cake with chocolate icing topped with roasted hazelnuts.

Both the reading and the writing of poetry have long been a favorite of mine.  After years of dormancy I began writing poetry again after attending a retreat and taking a workshop with the most wondrous Susan Wooldridge.  What a gift she gave me in finding this lost piece of myself!  Reading poetry is a balm to my soul and a reminder that I am not alone no matter how wretched I may feel at times. I initially fell in love with Whitman and then Rumi through the translations of Coleman Barks.  These days I find joy and solace in the works of Mary Oliver and John O'Donohue. It is hard to explain how a poem can move you and change you, but it can, and will.  This poem by Mary Oliver is one that stays always near the surface of my thoughts, the last two lines a question worth answering again and again :

The Summer Day

by Mary Oliver

 

Who made the world?

Who made the swan, and the black bear?
Who made the grasshopper?
This grasshopper, I mean—
the one who has flung herself out of the grass,
the one who is eating sugar out of my hand,
who is moving her jaws back and forth instead of up and down—
who is gazing around with her enormous and complicated eyes.
Now she lifts her pale forearms and thoroughly washes her face.
Now she snaps her wings open, and floats away.
I don't know exactly what a prayer is.
I do know how to pay attention, how to fall down
into the grass, how to kneel down in the grass,
how to be idle and blessed, how to stroll through the fields,
which is what I have been doing all day.
Tell me, what else should I have done?
Doesn't everything die at last, and too soon?
Tell me, what is it you plan to do
with your one wild and precious life?

I began painting about 2 years ago when I signed up to take an online painting course, Get Your Paint On, taught by Lisa Congdon and Mati Rose McDonough.  With the exception of a few items (a mannequin face and wooden boxes) that I painted for a friends store years ago, I had not painted since high school.  I loved the techniques taught in this class and the images that began to appear in my work.  While my work is not purely intuitive (I generally go in with an idea) I still see in retrospect how the subjects I painted were reflective of what I was feeling at the time. Two of my favorite paintings, the Seahorses, were reflective of our struggle with fertility.  The dragonfly that I painted around the same time symbolized not only how these creatures were appearing everywhere I went but also served as a totem of sorts for the change and deeper thinking that was taking place in my life.  The painter that has long inspired me for his brilliant color, texture, and emotion is Vincent Van Gogh.

These days I have been contemplating combining words and paint on canvas because there are quotes and lines from poems that I want to have in front of me as a reminder and prompt.  The last two lines of The Summer Day poem will be my first combination. 

I would love it if you shared your favorite poets and poems and painters and paintings too.

Day Twelve: Favorite Things-Treasure Hunting

A Few of This Years Found Objects

Treasure Hunting is a daily activity and one that I relish.  As a child I was the one enlisted to find things in our household when they were lost and usually located the lost item in record time.  I loved combing through the many drawers, cabinets and closets in my grandparents home and would routinely drag out items that I found wanting to know what they were, where they came from and to show the rest of the family (My mother, brother, grandmother and grandfather) what I had found.  Perhaps because I had such an intimate knowledge of the inventory of our home is why I was so good at locating our lost objects. I frequently found money in the grocery store aisle or right outside of the store as well. 

To this day treasure seems to find me as much as I find it. I find it in a four leaf clover or a feather along my path, in the fortune inside the carefully folded cookie and in the comic strip wrapped around the slice of gum. Treasure is  a pair of pants that fits like they were tailored just for me located at the thrift store, or the perfect book of poetry found at the used bookstore, signed by the author.  Along my daily walks I often find earrings, dimes, and pennies, and hand written notes on tiny slips of paper.  And I have jars and bowls full of shells and rocks from the beaches and creeks I have visited over the years.

Do you Treasure Hunt outdoors or in thrift and consignment stores?  What are some of your favorite finds?

Day Eleven: Favorite Things-Questions

My unfinished mixed media painting answering the question, What Brings You Light?

I like questions, more so when I am the one asking them than when the tables are turned.  It almost always makes me feel like a spotlight is shining on me and unless I really feel comfortable with the person asking the question, it feels too much like a test and pressure and my mind goes blank or blurts out goofy answers.  But when I am the one asking the question of myself, well that feels different and illuminating and the question becomes a path paved with my own truth. 

A particular question that resonates with me is What Gets You Out of Bed in The Morning?  I think that while the core of the answer may stay the same, it can also change as your life changes. When I first read this question I wrote it on a sticky note and posted it directly on my computer so I would be forced to answer it every morning before I stumbled blindly into my day.  I never could come up with a good one-liner answer either.  I loved this question so much because I had the hardest time wrapping my head around an answer that was true for me.  My answer was a run on sentence of sorts.  And as I was doing a lot of self-work at the time this question then became What Do You Want to Accomplish Today? One particularly blue day when I felt lost and unanchored the question  evolved to What Brings You Light? 

For days and even weeks every time I came across a word or phrase that described what brought me light I cut it out and placed it on a large square black foam board.  I loved watching the words accumulate and build into their own mosaic story.  And this question is a re-set button of sorts for me, a reminder to seek the light and the things that bring me light when I feel overwhelmed or that darkness is encroaching.  I still have not finished this piece either  I assembled all the words in the middle of a swirly sunshine and I think that each swirly ray will eventually be covered in answers to this question as well.

What Brings You Light?

Here are a few links to other questions that I have also found helpful:

http://personalexcellence.co/blog/101-questions-to-ask-yourself/

http://www.oprah.com/spirit/Martha-Becks-20-Questions-That-Could-Change-Your-Life_1/1

Day Ten: Favorite Things-Coconut

Mmmmmmm...COCONUT...I love the way it smells and the way it tastes.

I have loved coconut since I was a little girl and my grandmother would share with me her stash of Brach's Neapolitan Coconut candies, which I just found out have been discontinued. 

One of my favorite perfumes, Ooh-La Hula, that had the perfect mixture of coconut, jasmine and neroli was also discontinued.

Evidently not everyone shares the same love for coconut that I do. 

Here is how I enjoy Coconut products:

• Coconut milk (I usually buy canned but have also made it from whole coconuts and frozen it)
•  In my daily Coconut Milk-Blueberry-Banana-Almond Butter Smoothie 
•  In place of water when cooking rice for a little sweetness and added layer of flavor when adding rice to stir fry.
• Coconut Oil (Unrefined)
• As the oil of choice for roasted sweet potatoes
• Melted and rubbed over a whole chicken for roasting
• As a moisturizer for skin
• In my bath fizzies
• Shredded Coconut (Unsweetened)
• Mixed with sliced bananas, thawed berries, almond butter, and raw cacao
• Over greek yogurt with cinnamon and walnuts

Coconut Milk-Blueberry-Banana-Almond Butter Smoothie
 
8-10 Ounces of Coconut Milk
8-10 Ounces Frozen Blueberries
1 Whole Banana
1 Heaping Tablespoon of Almond Butter
1 Tablespoon Ground Flax Seed
1 Tablespoon Wheat Germ
1 Tablespoon Chia Seeds (Optional-When I add these I soak them in coconut milk for 15 minutes)

Add all ingredients to your blender and mix until smooth and creamy.  Enjoy!

Warning...the blueberries may leave little specks in between your teeth from the shredded skins and seeds.  Check your teeth before leaving the house or you may get some funny looks. 

Day Nine: Favorite Things-Books

My Recent Picks from the Library

“For some of us, books are as important as almost anything else on earth. What a miracle it is that out of these small, flat, rigid squares of paper unfolds world after world after world, worlds that sing to you, comfort and quiet or excite you. Books help us understand who we are and how we are to behave. They show us what community and friendship mean; they show us how to live and die.”
― Anne Lamott, Bird by Bird: Some Instructions on Writing and Life

A book is a treasure chest waiting to be opened, or maybe a treasure map itself.  It is an invitation for a journey somewhere unknown, largely created by our imagination. When we open a book we are bound to meet ourselves in it somewhere.  In truth and in fiction, one can find versions of ourselves we never even knew existed and ones we have longed to become.  We see paths not taken, some filling us with regret, some with the sigh of thankful relief.

Reading has been a life long pleasure, encouraged at an early age from a Mother and Grandfather who read much.  While my brother and I shared many books lined up on a little black hand-painted bookcase, the first books that were all mine were the Laura Ingles Wilder series. This was the first time I can think of that I found myself, or a self that I wanted to explore inside the pages of a book. And while the past few years I have not read as much as years previous, books and the magic inside them still fill me with delight.  A day at the library or bookstore, perusing shelf after shelf, picking up a book here and there and seeing which ones speak to me is my idea of a perfect day.  

The books in the picture above are ones I picked out this month at the library:  Kaleidoscope, Born to Run, Project Renewment, Powerhunch, and Crossing the Unknown Sea. I am almost finished with Born to Run (highly recommended if you are a runner or not-it is a thrill of a read) and about half way through Kaleidoscope. The book on Intuition is next on my list.

Currently my favorite types of books are historical fiction, autobiographies, books on the natural world, poetry, shared books between friends, and books about whatever subject I currently find passionately interesting. 


What types of books do you like to read?  Do you have any recommendations?

Day Eight: Favorite Things-Awareness

It is not what you look at that matters, it is what you see.  Henry David Thoreau

Morning Run:  Fall Light flooding the Earth

This life goes by so fast and it is easy to get so caught up in to do lists and in tomorrow and next week and even yesterdays that we miss what is right in front of us.

A wild flower pushing up out of the cracked concrete sidewalk teaching us lessons of resilience and determination and beauty in unexpected places.  A shimmer of light higher in the trees indicating fall is here.  The look from a pet, child, lover or friend as they stare at us in longing that goes unnoticed. 

And it can be just as much what we don't feel as it can be what we don't see.  We don't feel gratitude because we feel scarcity because everything is  moving so fast.  We don't feel love from the pet, child, lover or friend because we are so busy getting from one thing to the next until we fall into bed and get up and start all over again.

I did this for years.  Oh every once in a while I would catch a glimpse of what seemed to be a still life all around me, a parallel universe of sorts and when I saw it I was often filled with a longing that scared me.  At times (even still)I have an all or nothing personality so I had a hard time incorporating down time and rest and awareness in my old routine.  It is now a part of everyday and it too helps ground me in the present and be thankful for this very moment.  I take daily walks and runs and purposefully listen, look, smell and hear all that I can about my surroundings. 

This evening, or tomorrow morning, or on your your way to work, or to the coffee shop, or lunch please take the moment to see life differently by doing life differently. Make a conscious effort to put away the cell phone or book or radio or i-pod or whatever it is that is distracting you (pacifying you), and just breathe and listen.  Listen to the hum of life around you.  What do you hear?  Are those crickets?  Can you hear the rustle of fall leaves through the trees?

What do you smell? Could it be the earthy and dusty crispness that comes from cooler weather and the leaves changing from green to gold? Is it bacon wafting out to the street from the open windows of your neighbor during a morning walk? Or is it your own cup of coffee you are savoring quietly and with intent on a little corner of carpet with your legs crossed indian style as you wake up to today and all its possibilities? 

What do your eyes notice today that you have overlooked before?  Is the light flooding into the room at a certain tilt that always fills you with a particular happiness that you have not recognized until this very moment? What colors are filling the earth these days; what color are the leaves, what flowers are blooming, is the sky a particular shade of blue?    

Take a different route to work or leave at a different time.  If you work from home, then work from a coffee shop, café, or park for the day.  Or maybe you can get up just 15 minutes earlier and arise with the thought that today is a new beginning, a brand new day and all yours for the taking.  Smile at each person you come into contact with today and really notice them.  Get out of your head (I know it is so hard to do) and look all around you.  

I don’t guarantee this will change your life, just that you will be more aware of your life and present to it and that with practice a more active participant in it.

What do you do in your own life to practice awareness?

Day Seven-Favorite Things-Cooking

Chicken Vegetable Soup Ready for the Freezer

I really enjoy cooking; creating a meal, knowing what is in my food, feeding others, and trying new recipes.  It hasn't always been this way and for (too) many years we ate out and existed on fast food and frozen stuff.  I cooked every other weekend or so or when we had company but there was nothing regular about it.  Of course our schedules were  not regular for a long time either with Alan in night classes and me working 10+ hour days five days a week. 

So when I took a break from working for a paycheck I decided cooking would help us be healthier and save money.  After scouring a bunch of blogs I discovered the best thing to do was to develop a meal plan for every night (some even have lunch and dinner plans) and to build your grocery list from there.  It did not take me long to get the hang of this and to really appreciate the plan.  Almost two years later I still make a plan and often feel lost and make not so good choices when I don't have one ready.  I just check out other meal planning blogs and recipes and a few sites and incorporate other tried and true favorites and make a list of 5-7 meals.  Then each morning I think about what we are going to have based on how long it takes to make a recipe and what we have going on that week.

Here are a few of my favorite sites for meal plans and recipes:

• She has great meal plans, recipe and cook book reviews and lovely photos.
• They have simple and seasonal recipes as well as quite a few gluten free ones too.
• This site also has simple and seasonal recipes as well as meal plans.
• This is a great site for Paleo recipes which also happen to be gluten free.
• I just discovered this site recently and she shares her recipes and has meal plans too.

 
Here is a typical meal plan for our house for the week with links for a few  of the recipes (which will link up with other sites I use):

Stir-Fry with Rice, Quinoa, or Cauliflower Rice

Salmon Filet's with Roasted Sweet Potatoes and Spicy Cilantro Slaw

Roast Chicken, Green beans, Roasted Potatoes

Mushroom and Tomato Sauce over Spaghetti Squash

Meat Loaf, Cauliflower Rice, Slaw

Tacos, Green Rice, Spicy Black Beans

How do you plan your meals for the week?  Please feel free to share your own favorite recipes, ideas, or links to meal planning ideas.

Day Six: Favorite Things-Photography

Another of my favorite things is taking pictures.  For me, photography is another way of connecting to the life around me.  It can be a sliver, a microscopic taste, a vast ocean of nothing or everything, containing the frailty and tragedy as well as the miraculous glorious joy of life.  It is a tiny time capsule created by a captured instant that catapults the viewer into a rich inner world of association, the interpretation created by the layers making up the viewer and their unique experiences and beliefs.

Most of my photos tend to be of nature, moments when I am out walking, running, working in the yard or traveling and are taken with a simple point and shoot camera or my cell phone.  I have not yet developed a knack for taking photos of others although I do snap quite a few of these too.  I generally create a folder for each month and save all the pictures I take to that folder, the exception being for special trip or excursions that have their very own folder. 

The pictures are a diary for me and as soon as I see them I am transported back to the moment, no words required.  Here are a few of my favorite photos.

What does photography mean to you?  Please feel free to share a link to your own work in the comments section below.

 

Taken with cell phone, field bathed in bright light

 

Taken with point and shhot camera, crooked creek

 

Taken with cell phone, summer clouds

 

Taken with cell phone, dogwood in bloom

 

Taken with point and shoot, walk along the beach

 

Taken with point and shoot, daughter by fortune and husband

 

Taken with point and shoot, creek bed from moutain hike



Taken with point and shoot, flower on mountain hike

Taken with point and shoot,

 

 

 

Day Five: Favorite Things-Just Being

I fretted a bit about missing a post after making the commitment to have 14 so here is my day late post.  The reason I missed the post is because I was just living, being, doing.....the normal stuff.  Nothing special in some ways, but wonderful in others.

The day started with a cold Alan had developed taking a turn for the worse and him needing a little extra attention.  So I made sure he was comfortable and had everything he needed and figured I would be able to get to the post later in the afternoon since it was my day off from running.  Then Alan mentioned he thought we would head back to our other house early since he was sick and working from home and maybe we would leave that night, so I started packing. 

Just as I had finished packing and sat down at the computer the phone rang and it was my brother on the other end saying his car had over-heated.  He wasn't sure if it would require a simple fix or a major fix but wondered if I would be around.  So I began shifting gears and then wondered what we would have for dinner because feeding people is something I do and since we were planning to head home that evening I had not made plans for dinner. 

And I went and picked-up my brother.
And he did spend the night.
And I thawed out 2 jars of frozen chicken and vegetable soup I had just made a couple of weeks ago.
And we had a wonderful dinner, the three of us and Miss Butters.
And we laughed and discussed the crazy elections and the debate from the night before.
And my brother worked a little bit.
And I read a little bit of a new book.
And Alan read the news online.
And we made plans for the next day and went to bed full of love. 

Day Four: Favorite Things-Cinnamon Dusted Truffles-AKA Energy Balls

Cinnamon Dusted Truffles

Around here I refer to these as energy balls but truffle comes closer to the decadence of these little treats.  Packed with protein and good fats, these are my go to snack. Plus the Cacao is packed with magnesium and iron.  If you are new to Cacao you can find it at places like Whole Foods, the Healthy Home Market if you live in Charlotte, NC, or likely at your local health food type store.  The recipe below is my adaptation from a recipe I found two years ago on the blog The Byrdfeeder.

I hope you enjoy!!

Cinnamon Dusted Truffles

Yield:  35-40 Truffles

2 cups chopped raw walnuts
1/2 cup raw cacao nibs
1 cup organic raisins
4 tablespoons Almond Butter (salted or unsalted)
1 pinch fine sea salt

2-3 tablespoons of cinnamon (for coating)

Mix all the ingredients together in a food processor.  I don’t have a food processor myself so I mix the nuts, raisins, cacao and sea salt in small batches in the blender and then hand adding in the almond butter in a medium bowl.

After combining all the ingredients, I then hand roll the mixture into quarter sized balls and place on a baking sheet covered in wax paper.  Once all the truffles have been rolled I fill a small ramekin with the 2-3 tablespoons of cinnamon and roll one truffle at a time, gentling shaking the ramekin back and forth causing the truffle to roll round and round and coat itself in cinnamon.  The truffles will begin to darken to a nice espresso color as the oils from the truffle combines with the cinnamon.
 
Place all truffles back on the wax paper lined cookie sheet and place in the freezer for about 30 minutes. 

I then divide the truffles into two containers; one for the refrigerator and one for the freezer.  These keep in the refrigerator for approximately 2 weeks and in the freezer for 6 months, although to be honest I doubt they will hang around your house that long!
If the mix is to wet you can add more nuts to get a drier consistency.

If the mix is too dry you can add more almond butter.

If you are not fond of cinnamon, cocoa powder or fine shredded coconut are also wonder coating choices.

Based on the nutritional data on the packages of ingredients I used, I broke down the nutritional information below.

Food	Calories	Fat	Carbs	Protein	Sugars
Walnuts	1600	160	24	40	0
Raisins	1040	0	248	8	232
Cacao	520	48	40	16	0
Almond Butter	760	68	24	32	8
Total	3920	276	336	96	240
# Energy Balls	33	33	33	33	33
Nutrition Per Each	119	8	10	3	7

In-Process Photos

Ingredients

 

Before Processing

 

Ready for the Cinnamon