Fourteen Going on Forty

My younger self that I have been thinking of as of late

It is October 1st and exactly 14 days until my fortieth birthday.  I want to celebrate these last 14 days of my thirties.  It feels like a big deal to me.  Not the kind where I want a surprise party or a trip around the world (but hey the trip would be cool), but the kind where I think it is important to stop and take note and stock of where I have been and where I am. 

I thought of creating a life-list of 40 things to do before I turned 40 but I thought of it shy of 40 days.  I mean I knew this was the year it would happen but my-oh-my how time has a way of creeping up on you.  So then I thought, ok , I can do 22 things (because that was about how many days ago it really hit me) before I turn 40 but that felt daunting and more of a challenge rather than a celebration.  So I think I will just share parts of myself, some of my favorite things so to speak, for the next 14 days.  And this sharing will help with something else I want to let go of or rather make peace with and that is fear. 

Yes I have a blog which feels big and wide-open in some ways.  In truth it is just a glimpse of who I am based on my the parts of me that I choose to reveal.  And I have not told many people about said blog. When I explore the why behind that (not sharing it with many people) the answer is fear.  Fear of rejection, judgement, ridicule, frivolity, etc.

Fear can be healthy and keep us safe.  Fear can propel us forward with much needed adrenalin.  Or fear can allow us (me) to be mediocre.  Not risking too much because it might hurt and therefore remaining stagnant because it feels better.  Only stagnation doesn't feel better.  Fear can also tell tall-tales and create mountains out of mole hills and let us worry and over think things so much we forget what we were even fearing to begin with.  Whew. 

So with that in mind, I will begin sharing 14 things, something new each day, until I turn 40. I am not sure what each day will bring, but we will see.  This will be a gift to me, chronicling my life and favorite things while leaning into my new year, and hopefully if you decide to join along, a gift to you as I share a few things you might like to explore for yourself.

Today maybe you can think of something that you fear and explore where it comes from. Is it an old story about yourself that may no longer be true but that you are clinging to because it is familiar?  Some of my fears are old stories that I am slowly re-writing. There is this story about a nerdy girl who never did quite fit in.  She didn't have the right accent, or the right clothes, or the right friends.  She was too tall and her eyes were too big and people laughed at her and called her names. She decided it was easier to be quiet and observe and try to go as unnoticed as possible until the most precious parts of her almost dissapeared.  That is part of one of my old stories. There is also beauty in that story.  Part of re-writing my stories is also looking for the shiney in the dullness.  My quietness has lead me to be an observer and to relish the connectivity with the natural world as it embraced me when I felt alone in so many other areas of my life.

Maybe you have a story you would like to re-write as well. 

This Month Around The Yard

This month I have had more time to spend in and around our yard at our old house and have noticed little creatures teeming with activity all about.  I wonder if it is just me, being a more active participant, or if they are all busier in preparation for the shift in seasons and a possibly cooler fall and winter.

The past two years I have been able to mark the subtle changes in seasons by being aware of the insects that seem to suddenly appear.  Crane flies are the first to appear and announce that Spring has arrived.  I know the hummingbirds will be in soon when I spot the first of the crane flies.  The indigo-blue mud dauber is next on the list as temperatures begin to rise.  Dragon flies are just around the corner at the peak of the summer season and the majestic butterfly glides in just as the shadows begin to grow longer.  Spiders then begin to hang their webs in curious places as if they are vying for the greatest attention; high in the trees, in between the bushes, dangling from a power line, and framing doorways and windows with their glistening traps.  This week it is the afternoon chirp of the crickets and watching them in abundance as they leap through the grass just ahead of my step that reminds me cooler temperatures are soon to come.

Activity around the yard this month

I still sometimes have trouble with directions and if I am facing N-S-E-W, but it is nice to be in touch with these clues again and to tell time from a deeper reservoir. 

I would love it if you would share what you are noticing while you are out and about these days?

Map Table

Map Table~Barcelona

I have long loved maps, a love likely developed while living with my grandparents where National Geographic magazines, The World Atlas, and travel maps were always readily available as reading material.  They loved to travel and visited almost every state within the US in addition to visits to Canada. 

On all of our trips we not only use maps to get to know and to get around the city, but I hoard them almost as much as stones and sea shells.  Each map has something different; some are hand drawn, some include famous sites, some are enlargements of particular parts of a city, some are colorful like a metro map, and some are black and white, but each are unique and have their own story to impart.  The idea to create a collage of our maps, ticket stubs and other paper ephemera has been ruminating since our honeymoon.  I often take these saved items out of the boxes I keep them in and arrange them in different fashions looking for something to speak to me on how to display and arrange these treasures.  There are also coins mixed in amongst the papers and each of these shiny jewels get added to the lot or sometimes lined up in an orderly fashion with the idea to mat and frame just the coins.

Well an opportunity arrived and while it was not the collage I imagined or even the map I originally intended to use, I was pleased with the outcome and the new display for this map.  We rented our condo out for the Democratic National Convention and I needed a bedside table for our guest bedroom.  I had several inexpensive round plywood tables that are intended to be covered in a tablecloth and then topped with glass and decided to try using one of these for my project.

The steps for creating the table are below.

• Using the glass table top as my template with the map placed underneath the glass I used a sharp razor knife and cut around the glass.
• Since the table was unfinished I sprayed it and the legs with one coat of primer and sanded the rough edges after it dried.
• After removing the sanded dust I coated the wooden table top and bottom (covering the metal areas where the legs are inserted with painters tape) and legs with white oil paint.
• After the paint dried I applied Liquitex varnish to the table top and the round cut out map and carefully placed the map on the table top smoothing out air bubbles as I went.  I did have a hard time with some of the air bubbles and had to gently pierce the paper where they appeared with the razor knife and then push the paper down.  I would recommend a brayer or other type of roller to ensure all air bubbles are removed.
• After the map was attached to the table, I covered the map and wooden edges around it with the same Liquitex varnish, sealing it and giving it a shine.
• I purchased small silicone disks from our local home improvement store and attached 4 of these to the glass to separate the glass from the table, protecting the map and providing a sturdy base for the glass.

I didn't take many "in process" shots but did take this one when I first cut the map and prior to painting the table.

Relief Painting

I found an idea while browsing on Pinterest and recreated it in my own style and thought I would share the results here.  With the exception of a few errors on my part, I was pleased with the end result. 

Here is the inspiration:  Canvas covered in one solid color and then hand painted with 3D paint in white and that same canvas color applied again to give it a rustic appearance.  I truly love this artists flowers and greenery and the rusty color too. 

SOURCE:  http://ilovetocreateblog.blogspot.com/2012/06/rusty-relief-painting.html

 

Here is my version:  A swirly vine using different colors, design, and a slightly different technique to create a coppery-like patina appearance.

Completed relief paintings

I started with four canvases and painted them a sea-green color and then used bubble wrap for slight distressing.

Beginning layer of paint

While the canvases were drying I drew my swirly vine on tracing paper so I could copy the exact design onto all four canvases.

Swirly Vine design

After the canvases were dry I penciled in the swirly design directly onto each canvas.

When I went to the craft store I did not pay close attention to the color of the 3D paint and accidentally purchased 3 clear glitter paints and one white paint.  I did not notice my error until after I traced my pencil drawing with the clear glittery paint that went on white and all but disappeared when it dried. Scraping it all of was not a pleasant process at all but I did and thankfully the one small bottle of white paint covered all four canvases.

After the 3D paint dried I lightly sponged on a purplish-brown color over the sea-green and then wiped away excess from the raised swirly design using a paper towel.

After the brown paint was dry I covered all four canvases with varnish for preservation and shine.




Close-up showing raised lines and color variation
 

I would love it if you would like to share any projects you have worked on recently or are hoping to pursue in the future. 

The Cradle of Familiarity

Blueberry Butterfly

Every weekend since February we have left our new city and condo and come back to our house that is not really in the country but that we lovingly refer to as the country house.  We shuffle between these spaces and pack and unpack bags and settle in to familiar routines.  Sometimes it feels all too much.  Sometimes I feel rootless.  Today however, I feel thankful for this long transition, for the chance to come back to a yard and trees and flower and herb beds: for the cradle of familiarity.  It reminds me of a recent conversation between my Mother and me while cleaning out a closet at her house.  There were 2 boxes of my barbies and other high school memorabilia and she asked if I wanted to take them to my house or leave them at hers.  I felt tears well up in my eyes and I asked if I could leave the boxes with her because as long as they were there then I felt I had my childhood home to come home to.  If the boxes were not there a great shift would take place, only felt by me, that I was not ready for and that I may never be ready for.  She smiled and said she understood and I know she did.  As much as I have purged and culled and tried to let go of holding on to things, some things and places I just cling to. Maybe it is the memory or the promise tthat these things and places once held that I cling to.  But I think these things and places cling to me too, that some of it is just love: what I love, what I need around me....the earth, small treasures of the past glittering, birds and bugs, the knowing of a place.....

Today I have found delight in:

• Listening to the melody of rain against the roof in the blue of the early morning.
• A solo trip to the blueberry patch between rain showers and not only picking a gallon of blue-black sweet ones but also spotting a beautiful butterfly.
• Running barefoot in the rain from store to car and feeling my 7 year old self emerge with glee.
• Playing fetch with my little monkey.
• Picking fresh aromatic basil from the garden especially for this evenings dinner
• Listening to a mixture of soft and kind music on Pandora's Lisa Hannigan Station.
• The chopping of farmers market fresh cucumbers for tonight's salad.
• Watching out the kitchen window as the hummingbirds dive bomb each other as the vie dominance over the feeder

Dinner is almost ready...a warm and yummy baked ziti for this rainy and grey evening.

Whatever you may call home, I hope it cradles you like a warm and familiar blanket of love and delight.

A Vacation Remembered

This week I stumbled upon our vacation photos from May and fondly remembered the joy and peace found on this trip to the coast.  The clouds rushed in and out threatening of storms that never came while creating stunning portraits in the sky.  I was enthralled with the clouds, so many different shapes and designs...when I wasn't looking up...I was following the trail of shells for miles down the beach lured by the shine and shimmer and the amazing colors gifted from the sea.  There was also a visit to a lighthouse which I learned had been kept two different women when it was active.  This knowledge set off all kinds of adventuresome daydreams of beach combing and intimately knowing a piece of land and her changes in weather and season.

Rainy Day at Sea

Rainy Day at Sea

After several versions and revisions a new painting has emerged.  This painting reminds me of the beauty found in storms and how the world around us changes in depth of color based on the light and clouds.  The song Lillie by Lisa Hannigan played in my mind often while working on the last phase of this painting as well. 

I first started painting on the canvas horizontally and in the first phases was reminded of being underwater.  Then I added orbs of color and the painting took on more of a fall-leaves feeling to me.  I liked it to a certain degree but I over did it with the orbs and did not like the end result.  After a white wash of sorts the painting entered a seriously ugly phase and I added the dragonfly.  Thankfully (I say this now but did not think it then) Alan reminded me I already had one dragonfly painting.  After I set with this for a while I realized I was playing it safe and going back to something known.   After a while I decided the canvas needed to be turned vertically and then the sea and sky appeared and began to take shape.  I really do like that underneath the sea lives a dragonfly too.

The first phases of the painting:

Spreading different colors on the canvas

Layering orbs of color

Sketch of a dragonfly on the canvas

Dragonfly