The Cradle of Familiarity

Blueberry Butterfly

Every weekend since February we have left our new city and condo and come back to our house that is not really in the country but that we lovingly refer to as the country house.  We shuffle between these spaces and pack and unpack bags and settle in to familiar routines.  Sometimes it feels all too much.  Sometimes I feel rootless.  Today however, I feel thankful for this long transition, for the chance to come back to a yard and trees and flower and herb beds: for the cradle of familiarity.  It reminds me of a recent conversation between my Mother and me while cleaning out a closet at her house.  There were 2 boxes of my barbies and other high school memorabilia and she asked if I wanted to take them to my house or leave them at hers.  I felt tears well up in my eyes and I asked if I could leave the boxes with her because as long as they were there then I felt I had my childhood home to come home to.  If the boxes were not there a great shift would take place, only felt by me, that I was not ready for and that I may never be ready for.  She smiled and said she understood and I know she did.  As much as I have purged and culled and tried to let go of holding on to things, some things and places I just cling to. Maybe it is the memory or the promise tthat these things and places once held that I cling to.  But I think these things and places cling to me too, that some of it is just love: what I love, what I need around me....the earth, small treasures of the past glittering, birds and bugs, the knowing of a place.....

Today I have found delight in:

• Listening to the melody of rain against the roof in the blue of the early morning.
• A solo trip to the blueberry patch between rain showers and not only picking a gallon of blue-black sweet ones but also spotting a beautiful butterfly.
• Running barefoot in the rain from store to car and feeling my 7 year old self emerge with glee.
• Playing fetch with my little monkey.
• Picking fresh aromatic basil from the garden especially for this evenings dinner
• Listening to a mixture of soft and kind music on Pandora's Lisa Hannigan Station.
• The chopping of farmers market fresh cucumbers for tonight's salad.
• Watching out the kitchen window as the hummingbirds dive bomb each other as the vie dominance over the feeder

Dinner is almost ready...a warm and yummy baked ziti for this rainy and grey evening.

Whatever you may call home, I hope it cradles you like a warm and familiar blanket of love and delight.