Wish Big

Make a Wish.... (Source)

What is it that you wish for today?   Is it a fresh new notebook with the perfect weight of paper for writing and drawing?  A clean house? A new pair of happy shoes for spring? World Peace?  To win the lottery?  To get into the university of your choice?  To go to graduate school?  To have the stamina to finish said graduate school?    The courage to start something new?  The strength to just make it through today?

When was the last time you wrote down your wishes and made them known? Known to yourself and to the Universe?    I just wrote down mine this morning and was surprised.  I was not surprised by something new showing up, but surprised by the consistency.  These are some of the same wishes that showed up the last time I did this in December.  The difference is that I am actually currently living some of these wishes right now.  Now I am trying to figure out how to give longevity to them.

Make a list of 20 wishes.  Just write them down as quickly as they come to mind.  You never know what maybe hiding inside your head and heart.  Just writing them down may help make them real to you and in turn make them capable  of happening by giving you the courage you to go after them. 

One thing that came up again in my wish list was strength.  There were actually two different kinds of strength that came up and I am going to work on those this week; Physical strength and mental strength.  This week I am going to take the time to cultivate those wishes.

Here a few of my wishes.

1.       I wish to be strong and fit.

2.       I wish to have a stronger and healthier dialogue in my head; for my interpretation filters to be positive and hear things in a more true sense.

3.       I wish to play daily.

4.       I wish for financial security and to have no money fears.

5.       I wish to create for several hours every day.

6.       I wish to keep practicing and for my creative work to become a lifelong habit.

7.       I wish to wish bigger, freer, braver  wishes.

I think it is important to wish big for others too, to throw our wishes out into the world like dandelion fluff. I have wishes for others near and dear to me too, and while I won't name name's, I wish them to feel more joy, to realize how special they are to me and to the world, and to have the strength to continue on their path. 

What are you wishing for today?  I am wishing you a you know it with every fiber of your being that anything/everything is possible.  Peace Out! 

Weekly Delights

I kept a small list of the ordinary and extraordinary things that delighted me throughout the week. 

• My new easel that I bought on Monday. I love having it...it is a nice reminder to paint and a nice way to display what I am working on.
• Finding this website on Tuesday-I want to do each project-I LOVE THIS!! http://52projects.com/2009/10/21/project-6/
• Butters sitting in the light and allowing me to take her picture.
• Having Chicken Pot Pie for dinner (I made and froze it back in December)




I like to cut a small smiley face or heart in the top of the pie for whimsy


• My Mother coming to visit.
• Vila telling me about an artist she found in Ecuador.  He creates his paintings from leaves.  You know how leaves have spiny skeletons?  Imagine peeling off the outer layer to reveal that skeleton and using it as a wing for a hummingbird or the glass for a window.  I cannot wait for her to show me this art!
• Finding The Selby and losing myself for a few moments to beautiful photography and quirky movies.  My favorite movie was about Rockaway Taco.
• These were (some of) my favorite pictures:
•  http://www.theselby.com/6_17_10_GeraldDeCock/       http://theselby.com/7_2_10_PamelaLoveJordanSullivan/ 

• 

  Look at all those books..very messy and creative at the same time.  (Source:  The Selby)

Wall Collage  (Source:  The Selby)

 

• These gorgeous paper dolls that I stumbled upon on Etsy. http://www.etsy.com/storque/how-to/how-tuesday-paper-dolls-12363/?ref=fp_blog_title  

  

  Paper Dolls  (Source:  Carla Sonheim)

  
•  This quote too on Carla's Tutorial....I believe I was meant to find it.      

"What did you do as a child that made the hours pass like minutes? Here is the key to your earthly pursuits.” — Carl Jung

• This Web Site and traveling Craft Fair http://www.renegadehandmade.com/ http://www.renegadecraft.com/brooklyn

• Watching this video from My Get your Paint on Class.  I was moved and soothed at the same time.   

• My brother sharing this link.  It made me all bouncy and bubbly and I played it over and over again. 

What delighted you this week?  Care to share?

Week 4 of Get Your Paint On

Week 4 of get your paint on was all about Composition.  This week's lesson intimidated me more than the past 3 weeks.  I got nervous because in other areas of my  life I choose symmetry over asymmetry.  If there were two candlesticks and a bunch of flowers I would put the candle sticks on either side of the flowers rather than put the candlesticks side by side.I ended up with symmetry in this painting too and I am hoping for a lot of feedback from my classmates on how I could have made this painting more  interesting.

The subject matter came to me while I was in Michael's picking up more white paint.  After last week's paint mixing exercises I ran out of white.  I was walking through the aisles and came upon this beautiful display of birds and butterflies and beautiful soft pastel colors.  It was kind of like my artist date (I am reading Julia Cameron's book Walking in This World right now) and I was thoroughly enjoying the colors and ideas and just the infusion of spring everywhere.  Oddly enough though my idea was not really spring inspired and I was struck by the idea for paper lanterns somewhere between the wedding favors and scrap book paper aisles. 

I knew the painting would be at dusk/early evening but I was not too sure after that.  Then I had the idea to paint a green door in the background and paper lanterns strung in the foreground.  When I started sketching, a tree filled with lanterns came out instead. 

 

I did play it safe with this painting too and would like to learn to take more risks.  I let some of the paint drip for the grass and did have fun playing with that, but I still played that safe by using more water than paint to keep it more translucent.  Again, intentional and not happenstance.  I also had an idea for all kinds of creatures to be gathered under the tree.  Particularly I saw an owl in the tree, and a teddy bear and a baby elephant under the tree.  I sketched out the baby elephant and even drew one on the canvas but erased it and decided to leave the painting as is. 

I think the lesson for me was twofold this week. 1) Don't feel like you always have to produce something and turn it in on time.  In other words, be ok with taking risks that may mean not even having anything to turn in, or turning in something that looks real wonky that I am unhappy with. Take the risk when you have an idea.  2)  Go back to painting on paper.  I feel more open to taking risks on paper.  The canvas feels more permanent and also takes up more space and costs more money.  I like painting on the canvas because it does not warp and I feel like an artists painting on the canvas, but I see the value in the paper when it comes to taking more risks with my ideas.

Our assignment was to choose one or two principals of composition and use those in our work this week.  I honestly had no idea what they would be before hand though.  Did anyone else in class know what principals they would use before they started painting? 

The principals of composition that are found in this weeks painting are:

• Elements varied in space and size:  Trees have varying limbs and branches and the left and right side of the tree are not completely symmetrical.
• Warm or Cool Colors:  There are warm colors found in the lanterns and fireflies but because the intention is that the scene is at dusk I used primarily cool colors to give the impression of evening.

Week 4-Final

Fun Stuff

I am having I-Phone envy these days seeing all of these gorgeous photos people are posting using new applications like Hipstamatic with all these cool film and flash types.  Heck I am so out of the loop I may have used all the wrong jargon here too.  I feel like I did back in the day when I was a little girl and everyone had the Kodak instant camera and I had a 110. I wanted that instamatic kind of fun, not the kind that you had to save up for in order to take your film to the drugstore and send off for developing.  Of course I do have a point and shoot digital camera now and that is instamatic fun in its own way but I am still having toy/camera/phone envy because I don't have the cool digital camera and the lenses and filters to play with much less an I-Phone.

In fact don’t even have a cell phone right now.  What?  Yep, I have not had a cell phone since I turned in my blackberry at the end of November.  And the truth is that I am ok without one. Kind of...except for the cool camera part.

Since I don’t have the I-Phone to play with I have found another fun tool to play with that is FREE.  Based on the number of hours I have played on here today I will say it is best that I don’t have any other tools or toys to distract me at this time.  In case you have not heard of Big Huge Labs go check it out....when you have a few hours to spare.  Hope you have fun too!

I used our dog Butters as the subject for all of my play time in Big Huge Labs.

Here she is in Vintage Black and White using Photo booth:

Here she is in a very colorful Pop Art piece:

And lastly Butters can be found rocking The Motivational Poster. 

Gifts

For the second day in a row I feel heavy and sluggish.  I have tried to work on my writing and feel empty and intimidated as I stare at the lines in my journal.  I know I need to work on my painting but don't feel the motivation.  I finally pick-up the paint brush and fill in some detail work on a tree and my hand goes numb and tingly.  There are also hundreds of projects to be done in the house but I find myself going from room to room pondering and puttering but not really getting anything done. 

Since I am not currently generating an income or caring for small children (I add this because someone asked me this recently when I said I was not working) I feel this added pressure to account for my days.  Here lately I have felt it even more so and have begun listing my daily activities in my journal.  I use that as a reality check of how I spend my days.  It keeps me accountable to.........myself.  The funny thing is no one is asking me to explain how my time is being spent.  It is me fearing that "they" will ask though and that I will come up short.  That I will have to stand on a platform and some light will shine in my face while I am put on the spot to account for my time. Does spending three hours reading meal plans and recipes count, or how about the hours I used to look-up every photograph I could find of whale sharks for a painting I was working on?  Never mind that I abandoned the whale shark and painted jellyfish instead. 

I am really trying to learn to make peace with myself and with my choices and stop worrying so much what others think. Or what I think they think.  Every day is a new opportunity to learn and to grow. Perhaps that is the lesson I will take from these sluggish days; to stop judging myself so hard, to realize that some days I am just going to go through the motions and some days I am going to create new motion, and to remember that regardless of which type of day it is, that every day is a gift.

Yes, I just wrote that.....a....Gift.

You have the thoughtful just what I needed gift, the wow I don't deserve this gift, the what the fuck gift, and the meant to be funny but how did I get stuck with this gag gift.  The gag gift really is different from the WTF gift too.  The gag gift was meant to be funny, but not so of the WTF gift. You will however laugh (later of course) when you think of  re-gifting the WTF gift as a gag gift to a sibling or friend.

What do you do when you feel sluggish or unproductive?  Do you feel guilty, go with the flow, or turn on some happy music and jump up and down? 

Photo:  Source

Today Was Good

Today was good

in the way that stretching and twisting

and pushing and pulling can be.

In the way that you know will hurt later

but feels so good now

moving in a new way.

Today was good

In the way that catching

glimpses of spring-green chickweed,

shoots of hosta of the deepest purple,

and the movement that of an unexpected  spider camouflaged in the mulch can be.

Today was good

In the way that thoughts

of all the flowers and vegetables and bushes and plants

that had come before

out of this ground

can be.

Today was not sad.

It was a remembrance and celebration of the earth,

My little square of it

as I have claimed for these past 6 years.

Today was good

in the way that I wondered and hoped

that the new owners would fall in love with this hodge podge of life.

Today was good

In how I fell back in love

with all of it,

all the while wondering what will they fall in love with.

Will it be the feathery ferns that will appear out front under the shade of the trees, unfurling as the days grow warmer and summer rains soak the ground?

Or the peonies pushing through the ground and the mystery of hundreds of ants crawling over their green stalks that dazzle their eyes.

Maybe it will be the simplicity of purple buds bursting open and unleashing bright red leaves from the Japanese maple.

I hope they welcome the Snow on The Mountain that came from my grandmother

and the purple verbena that I have babied into returning each year.

I hope they too will grow

tomatoes

and pumpkins

and herbs of all kinds

and that they enjoy the earth that has been tended to

and cared for

with layers of love.

Today was good.

Here comes the Sun...

After three whirl-wind days infused with sunshine and spring like temperatures in which I cleaned and organized, and cooked, and painted and generally went about life in a sing-song fashion, I find myself slow, quiet, and feeling partly cloudy. 

I woke up this morning to bright sunshine and had my coffee early while writing about a strange dream I had last night.  Then Alan and I made breakfast while acting silly, (my favorite ingredient for cooking) ate, and chatted for a while.  Later I started looking into how to invest my 401K (insert: read too much about annuities and if I would ever be able to retire here) and all of a sudden I realized it was no longer morning, no longer sunny, and I no longer felt like taking on the world much less getting out of my pajamas. 

Since I could not have sunshine streaming through my windows, I figured I would turn to some of my favorite blogs for inspiration and a little sunshine through someone else's eyes.

• Look at this bright and cheery artwork found on Brene Brown's Blog.
• I love this handmade book that Shona Cole has created.  It is a mixture of her photography, poetry and collages.  She has so many beautiful DIY projects that she shares on here as well.
• Going to give this creativity mix from 99% a whirl later on today..not sure if it works yet or but I love hearing new music.  I like to listen to music when I paint and play in my office.
• Oh I love this...I found it in my favorites but cannot remember the original source.  It shows the sunsets and sunrises for your city/area everyday.  It is a wonderful reminder that the days are becoming filled with more light by just a few minutes every day.

Wishing you much light today no matter what the weather is like outside.

Week 3 of Get Your Paint On

Week 3 of Get Your Paint On was all about color.  The assignment was to choose 4 colors from your environment, re-create those colors in paint and use just those colors in your work.  I immediately thought of a new throw rug that I had just purchased that reminds me of the ocean. 

Since the colors remind me of the ocean I thought I would do an ocean scene with a huge swirly sunshine and a quirky whale.  On Tuesday the whale turned into a whale shark and I thougt it would not be quirky but realistic. When Wednesday rolled around I thought of jellyfish and figured I had better get started painting. When I actually started painting I realized that my swirly sunshine did not match the overall feel of the painting and so the swirly sunshine turned into a moon.

The color mixing process was an eye opener and while I admit I did not get each color dead on (they dry much different then expected) I was still pleased with the results.  My seemingly simple color pallet was Butter Cream, Slate, Light Blue, and Dark Turquoise.  And here are my findings on these colors.

Light Blue:  First I wanted to cover the canvas in Light Blue (yippy I did a canvas this week).  When I started mixing this color I added too much blue and not enough white so I ended up adding a ton of white throughout the mixing process.  After the first mix I held up the paint to my rug and realized there was black in the light blue so I added black next.  After mixing black I did another check and saw a purple tint to the light blue so I added red and more white too. The mixing process for this color took me so long that the paint got really dried out and clumpy.  I was begining to wonder if paint was like bread dough and that I had ruined it by "handling" it too much.  In the end I had some clumps that I had to sand off of the canvas but that gave me practice in sanding. The final mix for the background of Light Blue was:  Titanium White, Primary Blue,Mars Black, and Primary Red.

Butter Cream: Secondly I painted the sunshine (that became a moon) and jellyfish Butter Cream.  I started with white and yellow on this one (thinking of butter and powdered sugar by the way).  From there I added brown and then saw a red undertone in the original color and added a red brown.  The final mix for Butter Cream was:  Titanium White, Primary Yellow, Yellow Ochre, Raw Umber, and Burnt Sienna.

Slate:  When I first saw this color in the rug I really thought it as a blue-black color.  When I started mixing this I realized it was closer to slate and composed of blues, greens, and black with white added to dull the color.  I added two different greens and yellow to get to the final color.  The final mix for Slate was:  Mars Black, Primary Blue, Titanium White, Phthalo Green, Hooker Green, Primary Yellow, Yellow Ochre. 

Dark Turquoise:  My eye originally saw this color on the rug as turquoise but I see now it is much darker then that.  This color came from  taking the above color mix for Slate and adding more green and white.  Maybe it is because it was the last color that I mixed but this one was actually the easiest.





From Inspiration to final Painting

 

Close-up

Thankful Thursday

Today finds my heart full and overflowing with thanks for:

• Waking up this morning with the Alan and Butters by my side
• Majic Jack phone calls to and from Ecuador
• 68 degree weather with partly sunny skies and swollen moody clouds blanketing the sky
• Bright shafts of golden light breaking through the clouds and shooting straight to the ground
• The warm wind whipping my hair around me 
• Taco Night
• Cilantro
• My writing mentor and friend
• Pink Shoes that make me feel like Dorothy
• My Painting class
• Clean sheets and blankets
• Chocolate in the house (again)
• This version of In your Eyes

A Few of My Favorite Foods

Since December I have been focusing on eating healthier and more balanced meals.  Some days the amount of chocolate I consume versus vegetables is not balanced, but some days just call for more chocolate than others. 

Two of my favorite and go-to again and again foods are Flat Bread and Plain Greek Yogurt.  These are such simple items, but the combinations for how I can and do use these are endless.  I use the flat bread for wraps, pizza, burritos, enchiladas and bread crumbs.  My favorite use for flat bread though has got to be pizza.  It is so quick to grab the flat bread and just about anything you have in the refrigerator and "POOF" you have a delicious, healthy and quick meal.  Today I had veggie pizza with an olive oil base, fresh mushroom and red pepper slices, fresh cilantro leaves, feta cheese, and topped with a little shredded mozzarella and dried oregano.  The feta cheese gives it a nice bite. 

Pre Oven

Post Oven (see how it fills the plate-a hearty meal)

My husband's favorite pizza is our take on Buffalo Chicken.

Buffalo Chicken Pizza
1 piece of flat bread
1 tablespoon of Olive Oil (you can use more if you like)
1/4 Cup Cooked and Shredded Chicken (I use roasted or rotisserie chicken)
3 Large Fresh Sliced Mushrooms
About 10 leaves of fresh Cilantro chopped or whole
1/2 teaspoon of Dried Oregano
Buffalo Wing Sauce Drizzled (approximately 1 tablespoon/we use Texas Pete)
2 tablespoons Feta Cheese
1/4 cup Mozzarella Cheese

Measure 1 tablespoon of olive oil and spread all over the flat bread with the backside of the spoon.
Layer on ingredients in order listed.
Drizzle with wing sauce then top with cheese. 
I only bake this pizza for about 5 minutes at 350 and then I turn on the boiler (low) until the cheese bubbles and turns slightly brown.

 I have included suggested amounts for the ingredients but add or subtract as your taste buds dictate. Also feel free to add any other ingredients you have on hand or simply just love. 

The other food I constantly find myself using is Plain Greek Yogurt.  It does not stay plain long in my house, but that is where it all begins. You can dress it up with nuts and fruit for breakfast or use it as a substitute for mayonnaise, salad dressing, and as a topping or dip for fish/chicken/meat dishes.  I mix in Chalulu hot sauce with greek yogurt for a hot and spicy topping for black beans and tacos.  For roast beef I mix greek yogurt and hot and spicy mustard together as side sauce or for sandwiches. Once a week I make a batch of my take on the famous greek tzatziki sauce.  This is a refreshing and tangy sauce for chicken, fish and veggie dishes or sandwiches and I use it almost every day.

Yogurt Cilantro Sauce
1 cup Plain Yogurt 
2 Tablespoons of honey (optional but I love it)
1 large cucumber peeled and chopped fine (you can de-seed but I don't bother)
Cilantro chopped or cut fine with scissors (I use about 1/4 of a bunch)
1-2 cloves of garlic finely chopped
3 dashes of dill (or more for your taste)
Salt and Pepper to taste (just a dash of salt as this is flavorful without it)
2 Tablespoon of Lime Juice (you can also use lemon if that is what you have on hand-I just prefer lime juice)

Mix all of the ingredients together and refrigerate for up to 7 days.  This tastes great when just made but tastes even better about an hour after the ingredients have had a chance to blend together.

What are your favorite go-to foods or food finds you just can't live without?

Star Dust

We sat in the kitchen in early February

with the door open to an unusually warm day and

 welcomed the outdoor noises in.

You replaced switch plates and I read in the paper.

We talked about your daughter and about our family.

We talked about the newly laid tiles.

And then I came across a letter

 in the Parade magazine that asked

If many stars are so far away from earth

 that their light takes millions of years to reach us,

how do we know they  exist?

Marilyn responded,

We don’t.

When we look at the stars

 we are viewing the past.

This struck me

and I felt melodic and chromatic.

Like we, you and I, were floating in a soap bubble,

spinning through space and time.

That this moment we were having in the kitchen

 had been played out before

 and would be played out again.

I felt the utter beauty and

substance to this moment that I

rarely pay attention to

and I said to you,

Well what if all of this is

 really in the past and

you and I don’t even exist anymore,

and this moment right now is not real?

And you said somewhere in this vast universe

we are in the past.

That by the time that part of the universe

saw or heard this conversation

we would be gone.

And I said that as fast

As the speed of light is,

 it is still too slow.

But what I really meant to say

was that all of this

is spinning too quickly.

Please let me hold this

moment against my breast. 

Let me wrap my arms around it and

let me press my lips to its ear

And whisper.

Stay.

In Due Time

This morning I finished my painting for Week 2 of Get Your Paint On.  I love different aspects of this piece but feel there is something lacking that is needed to pull it all together.  I almost took it outside and flecked it with pink, white and black paint but was afraid that may take it further away from what I wanted.  I do however love the hummingbird, the tiny caterpillar, the flowers on the umbrella and the cherry blossoms. The hummingbird came to me this morning and is in honor of a friend.

This work was inspired by the artist Caia Koopman. I am drawn to her lovely doe eyed females but even more so to the stripes, flowers, animals, birds, and insects found in her work.  While I used several elements here, the key works of reference used were Blossom and Mockingbird 2 from the Sacred Space Collection.

I kept feeling like this painting needed words and at first I thought it might just be one word Spring because that is how the cherry blossoms made me feel.  But when I was finished painting I propped up the painting in front of me and got out my journal.  There the words revealed themselves.

There were still parts of her
hidden
even to herself....
Slow to be revealed...
Bursting open in due time.

Week 2-Painting

Seasons Change

Today as I was getting my hair colored (My first greys came in while I was still in college) and my hair dresser and I were sharing stories, it hit me how often we ignore, or are influenced to ignore, the seasons or cycles in our life. 

It was early in the morning and it was just the two of us in the shop. What began as a conversation about a recent trip he had taken for a seminar on growing your business turned into a conversation about change.  He talked about being burnt out with running the salon, and managing people.  Oh , and trying to balance his wants and needs and care for and cherish two small children at the same time.  But he didn't share all of this immediately.  I kept inquiring as to what he had gained from the seminar and what ideas was he hoping to implement and did he want a bigger space or a larger clientele.  I was not trying to be pushy or even nosy but in retrospect perhaps I was both.  I was actually thinking, "I really Like Mr. X (X for his privacy) and I wonder what he plans to do and if I could encourage or help him grow his business in any way". What he finally told me was that he did not want to grow the business and that he was actually thinking of "just cutting hair" and not renewing his lease this year. 

Some people may think that is a step back for him, but I believe it is a step up. He is choosing to concentrate on other areas of his life right now and the title of Salon Owner does not fit into the equation, nor does it have to. He is finished with this season. 

My season change should have been could have been 4 years ago and it should have been could have been in a different form, but the reality is that it came at the end of November in the form of a resignation from my job.  It is shameful to admit it but I had become a stranger to myself  and I no longer knew the person staring back at me from the other side of the mirror.  She was not bad or good for that matter, but there was a metallic taste to her that I did not like.  I had missed my season and what is ignored does not necessarily go away.  It just waits. Patiently. In a closet.  Metaphorically speaking and literally.  Trust me I have cleaned out quite a few of both in the past 2 1/2 months.

In this new season I am recreating myself into what I want to be and also rediscovering parts of myself that I had forgotten all about. The biggest impact for me though has been walking and writing in my journal. In my late teens and throughout my twenties I wrote notes to myself in my journal reminding myself of  what I wanted in life.  The problem was that at some point I stopped writing and stopped reading the notes.  Even if you create your own handbook you still need to refer to it at times. I must keep writing and I must keep asking the questions; Am I learning new things-creating-growing-laughing and playing-spending time with those I love?  No matter what joy and sorrows may come, may the answers be YES.

Today I walked out of the salon door with swingy happy hair and a smile.  Smiling that someone else is stepping onto their own path and following their season and thankful that I am experiencing my own new season right now.  I like to think of it as an early Spring.  

Week 2-Get your Paint on

This week's challenge has been, well, a challenge.  At first I was all on board:  Pick a favorite artist and incorporate something of theirs-color, form, subject matter, painting type, etc- into your work. I started with this on Monday and changed course.  I had thought of a collage and a few other ideas but this is what I ended up painting.  Not sure what it will end up like but I am learning the importance of using the right brush and the right amount of paint mixed with water so even if it is pure ugly I am taking away a lesson.  I still want to add some words in this painting but I am not sure what they are yet.

I think tonight will find me painting walls instead of painting on paper.  I picked-up paint for the laundry room on Tuesday when I spent the day with my Mother.  Hoping that will clear my head some to come back to this project.

Week 2   2.3

Spilling Truth

The truth is
that I had dreams for this room.
I had dreams for every room
that included little voices,
and little feet
that have not yet joined me in this world.

In packing and sorting and purging
I am spilling over with the truth of
what is not
and what may never be
and what was
wished for and wanted.

The truth comes spilling
down my cheeks
in salty rivulets
that make it hard to
remember or
realize or
even understand and accept
that the universe is unfolding
exactly as it should be.

And so I will create.
What I can.
What I am given and allowed.
In place of that
which is barren.

Walking in This World

This morning I am struck by this line from Julia Cameron's book Walking in This World and find it resonating deep within me:

"When we avoid our creativity, we avoid ourselves.
When we meet our creativity, we meet ourselves,
and that encounter happens in the moment.
The willingness to be ourselves gives us
the origin of originality."

Forsythia Blooms

Today started with sunshine spreading across the bed with Alan and Miss Butters tucked in all around me.  A bird tweeted and I opened my eyes thinking it sounded like spring, not like the winter song of a cardinal or a  junco.

After coffee for me and breakfast for Binky we headed out for a walk and spotted two tiny forsythia blooms before we left the yard.  Those little yellow cups of life took my breath away.  I thought of spring and of snow that often accompanies their first burst of blooms.  Later on down the road we spotted daffodils forcing themselves up into the light.  Spring is on the way in small delightful signs.

Forsythia Bloom

Today was a day of quiet creeping and sorting and purging.  Quiet as Alan is very busy with work and school and quiet because sometimes I would rather hear the hum of the house than the stereo.  Just the pitter-patter of life as my background music.  A car turning around in the curve out front, Butters nails tapping across the hard word floors, Alan's voice drifting up the stairs, the rush of water from the washing machine, the ring of the phone....  I started on the front room, the catch all room where things get lost and found again.  One closet and one wardrobe have been sorted, bags have been filled and recorded, boxes have been labeled, memories have flashed across the back of my eyes and a few tears were shed.

Tonight I find myself wearing a shirt of my Granddaddy's that was found today; soft flannel in shades of green, blue, and honey and thinking of this week's assignment for Get Your Paint On. The instructors recorded some very good pointers that have already come in handy such as starting Wet and Loose.  Basically the paint should be watered down (Wet) and the idea is to get the basic shape done with the brush (Loose) and not to be hung up on the details yet. 

This week's assignment is to interpret elements of one of your favorite artists and apply that in your own work.  I sketched several ideas but scrapped all of that and just painted.  I was not feeling too brave tonight and painted the new piece on the acrylic paper again.  I took the covereing off of one of the canvases and stared at it a while but put it away in the end.  I am excited about this assigment and allowing the process to unfold throughout the week. 

First Wash of Paint

A little more detail

The Blog Guidebook

Just re-discovered this great site-The Blog Guidebook which is how I figured out how to post my badges-yeah!

Feeling Brave

Perhaps it is procrastination but I would rather think of it as bravery...bravery has brought me to the place where I am moved to start this blog...tonight...when I should be cleaning out closets, packing, painting, cleaning, even nurturing a dream I have of clay and words.  I have dreamed of this blog for several months now and asked myself exactly what I hoped to accomplish with it.  My intent is that this blog will be a vision board, a journal, a place to share, and that somehow my bravery will grow.  That in sharing I will help myself and maybe somehow help encourage someone else. 

My bravery started back in the later summer of 2010 after a weekend at the beach when a dear friend suggested I needed a time out....a break...a sabbatical....a restart.  So I started looking for a retreat-a grown up version of camp basically (but without the polar bear club thankfully).  I looked on-line for over a month and explored retreats offered from meditative retreats at the Deepok Chopra Center to yoga retreats in the mountains of Asheville, NC.  Each retreat I found, and there were about 15, spoke to me in some small way but they did not make my heart sing.  One day as I was reading a favorite blog I stumbled upon Be Present Retreats and after reading and re-reading about it I book marked the site.  Then I began to let this idea simmer.  A day or two later I e-mailed Liz, the organizer and brain child of the retreat and asked her several questions.  I remember telling her that I was not an artist, I was not a photographer, I was not a writer, I was not a yogi, and that I was not practicing meditation but that I felt so drawn to her retreat.  She said come.  In hindsight I can now say I am all of those and so much more.  Don't get me wrong, I am not a master at any of those roles, but I can honestly say that I practice each role and enjoy the practice. I was still so afraid.  Afraid of everything that I was not and everything that the other women would be.  I was lucky to be among 12 bright, talented, loving, creative, sharing, caring and light bearing women for 4 amazing days.  That space I was given along with the love and encouragement from my husband, my mother, and my two best friends has brought me to this place...of bravery.

I look forward to where this will lead and of the journey ahead. 

New Beginings